


My Love is Yours

by NotPatrick



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, F/M, Happy Ending, Light Angst, Loss of Virginity, Master/Servant, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Oblivious Ben Solo, Oblivious Rey (Star Wars), Pining, Poor Rey (Star Wars), Rich Ben Solo, True Love, Virgin Rey (Star Wars)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 08:08:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25690081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotPatrick/pseuds/NotPatrick
Summary: Rey Niima has been utterly in love with Benjamin Organa Solo since she began to work for him. Simply one maid of many in his household she contents with loving him from afar and dreaming of a different life.Benjamin Organa Solo pines after his quiet maid by day and tries to stave off his loneliness at night through meaningless encounters with endless women.Neither believes anything can come from loving the other and both are determined to remain alone and lonely.ON INDEFINITE HIATUS
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 13
Kudos: 112





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A timid young maid could never marry her wealthy and handsome master but that did not stop Rey from loving him deeply and privately. A rakish, sinful man could never hope to have the love of a virtuous, gentle woman but Ben still loved her despite his sins.

Benjamin Organa Solo first saw her exactly one month after she began working at his house. She had been walking down the hallway and just as she turned the corner he caught a glimpse of three neat buns and a swish of black skirt. That one glimpse of her had been enough to ruin him and even now, two years on, he hadn’t been able to cleanse his heart of her.

At first he had fought it. It was futile; a rich, powerful man like him had no business loving his servant and he had done whatever he could to leave her behind. He had gone to every party with the intent of finding a woman of status to give his heart to and had visited every brothel, hoping for meaningless encounters that would purge her from his system. Nothing had ever worked, he had seen her in every woman he met and soon had given up trying, having to content himself with loving her from afar and looking for opportunities to see and speak to her.

Rey Niima knew very little of love. A childhood in an orphanage and a life in service did not help her to learn what it meant to love another and be loved in return. Despite this she knew that what she felt for her master, Benjamin Organa-Solo was love. 

There was nothing to be done about it. Rey simply woke each morning with the hope that she would be able to see him from a distance that day and fell asleep imagining his arms around her. He would marry one day and she would be released from his service, eventually finding another man, one of her own status to marry and be content with. 

As she worked Rey would try to imagine that life. How she would meet a delivery boy or perhaps a footman. Maybe a shopkeeper if she was lucky. They would go on walks on Sunday and write love letters until one day he got down on one knee and asked for her hand. Then the banns would be read and they would marry. She would bear his children and eventually they would be buried in the same grave together. 

Yet no matter how much Rey tried to distract herself with such daydreams her imagined lover would always become Mr. Solo. Tall and imposing, with dark hair and fine manners, a man who would never look twice at her unless she had displeased him. 

There were even times when, in the dead of night, Rey would cry about her love for him. When gossip would reach her about him pursuing some high society woman or when her loneliness became overwhelming she would lie in her hard, little bed in the attic and cry, wishing for a friend to console her. There was no one for Rey however and she simply had to wipe her tears, set her shoulders back and go about her day as though she had not a care in the world, doing what was asked of her and trying her hardest to be kind to everyone she met. 

He noticed her kindness. Once he began to watch her movements and seek ways to be near her he saw how shy and gentle she was, entirely incapable of being cruel to anyone, despite how cruel life had been to her. He wasn’t proud to admit that he had read the information he had on her. It was an invasion of her privacy, even if there was very little written on her. Born in and named after Niima orphanage she had left at 15 to become a maid and now worked for him four years later. 

How strange it is, Ben thought as he watched he hang sheets out to dry in the servants courtyard, that I should be the one superior in rank fortune, yet she is so far above me in morality and humanity. He knew that if she were ever a victim of unrequited love as he was she would never behave as shamefully as he did. 

The clatter of horses hooves that signalled the arrival of a carriage distracted Ben from his admiration of Rey’s tiny waist and unconventional hairstyle. He ran a hand through his hair as he left his study and half ran down the stairs to meet his mother. 

“Mama.” He greeted her as Leia Organa looked him up and down.

“Benjamin. You look tired. Have you been behaving very badly?” She asked as Ben bent down to kiss her cheek and take her arm.  
“Of course Mama.” He replied as he lead her into the parlour. 

As his mother settled herself down in a chair and arranged her voluminous skirts Ben rang for tea, knowing this was more than a mother simply wishing to see her only son. He leant against the fireplace and waited with baited breathe as she cast a disparaging eye over the room. 

“Really, Benjamin. Could you not have put a little more effort into your house?” She asked. 

“What bachelor cares for how his home looks, Mother? Any wife I take would only wish to change it.” Ben replied, already irritated by this talk of marriage.

“What wife would this be Benjamin? You’ve turned down practically every eligible girl in the country. And that’s not to mention your reputation.” Leia preached. He knew her words were well meant, the worries of a mother with only one child who seemed determined to never marry. 

“And what, dear mother, is my reputation?” Ben asked sarcastically, knowing full well what gossip said about him. 

“That you are a rake and a womaniser. What else would people say, after the way you treated Miss Netal?”

Ben sighed and began to pace the room. Bazine Netal had been nice enough, her conversation witty and her hair only a few shades darker than Rey’s. It had not been enough however and he had shamefully led her on before dropping her unceremoniously. It was embarrassing, to be lectured by his mother about his actions and remined of his faults. He wished to be able to explain himself fully, tell her how he did not enjoy to toy with women’s affections and visit brothels, he simply wished to be rid of the pain loving someone who he could never have caused. Ben could not tell her this, Leia Organa would be no more happy to have a son who married his maid than to have a son who never married.

A timid knock at the door distracted Ben though and Rey herself stepped into the room a moment later, carrying a tray with tea and cake that looked far too heavy for her. He carefully kept his eyes away from her as she laid their things out on the table and went to leave the room. He couldn’t quite resist her entirely however and spoke up as she left.

“Thank you, Rey.” He said, his voice impassive and emotionless and moved to pour some tea for his mother and endure more of her lecture.

Rey shut the door behind her and leant back against it for a moment, her heart beating so wildly she was sure Mr Solo and his mother would hear it. The sound of his deep voice thanking her, saying her own name ran around her head and made her blush furiously. She pressed her empty tray against her chest and fought the smile that was threatening to break free across her face.

Composing herself Rey slunk off quietly down the hall, deliberately not listening to the voice of Mrs. Organa that was drifting underneath the door. For all the years she had been working there Rey had only ever seen her a handful of times and each was more terrifying than the last for Rey. She was a true lady with beautiful dresses, endless jewels and ornate hairstyles. Each time Rey saw her it only served as a reminder of just how impossible her love for Mr Solo was. 

Rey walked quietly down the hallway before slipping through the servants door and into the kitchen, her high spirits sinking quickly as she was greeted by the sour, pale face of the butler Mr Hux. He eyed her disdainfully as she set her tray down on the kitchen table and moved to return to her task of checking on the upstairs fires. 

“Will Mrs. Organa be staying for dinner?” Hux asked, his voice pinched as though it pained him to speak to Rey.

“They did not say.” Rey replied quietly, attempting to look at his face and finding herself unable to.

Mr Hux only snorted at her and returned to his office, leaving Rey flushing furiously. She did not know what she had done to offended him but the butler seemed to harbour a deep dislike for her, a sentiment echoed by every other member of the staff. 

As Rey picked up her rag, brush and bucket and climbed the servants stairs she wondered at the reason for the anonymity the others had for her. It was true that she was far too quiet and that many found her odd but she was a good maid, able to turn her hand to anything and do her work well. Once or twice she had even been able to fix items about the house before they had been sent off to the menders. Such actions had only made her more disliked it seemed. 

Stoking the fire in the library she watched as Mr Solo kissed his mother goodbye and helped her into her grand carriage. Rey did not know the cause of her visit and found herself pondering the reason as she moved between rooms, hoping that it wasn’t to discuss marriage. 

Despite what she told herself it would still hurt Rey greatly if Mr Solo were to marry. 

***

In his library Ben sighed and picked at the food he had asked to be brought up to him. Rey had not been the one to bring it though, and he rather regretted not eating at his dining room like he often did. His mother’s visit had put him in bad spirits and Ben could think of few ways to cheer himself up.

She meant no offence and had only his best interests at his but his mother’s blunt words irritated Ben. It was true that he was a wealthy man who had just turned thirty, more than old enough to find a wife and settle down, ultimately providing Leia with the grandchildren he knew she desperately wanted. 

Ben pushed the plate away and poured himself a glass, hoping to fill up the emptiness inside him with a drink. Slipping into daydream Ben imagined Rey coming into the room and sitting on his knee by the fire, letting him hold her and teasing him about his downcast expression. Then he would kiss her hand and smile at her wedding ring before lifting her into his arms and taking her to their bed. It was simply a flight of fancy however and left Ben feeling more hollow than he had before. 

Glancing at the dark night sky he considered setting out to enjoy the night. His childhood friend Poe Dameron was still in town and would be more than up to cavort about town with Ben, drinking their cares away until Ben fell into the arms of a slim, brown haired prostitute and spent the night with her. 

His mother’s words were still ringing in Ben’s ears however and he could not find the strength to dress properly and head out, instead choosing to finish his drink and go to bed, not even undressing properly and simply collapsing still in his trousers. 

He had never brought a woman back to his house and into this bed. It felt too wrong, like he was being unfaithful to Rey, for him to do it. Were they to marry this would be the bed he would bring her to on their wedding night.

As his mind wondered to her slim figure and how she would look spread out across the sheets Ben felt himself grow harder within his trousers, eventually sighing and taking himself in hand. Thoughts of Rey gasping beneath him, her soft lips wrapped around him or pressed to his filled his mind and he finished quickly. 

Ashamed of himself Ben cleaned himself off and stripped properly. He reached out across the empty side of his bed and thought of his mothers words. There was no point in him trying to fight it anymore, that battle had been lost long ago. He knew he was the one with the power in their relationship, the man, the employer and it would be impossible for her to ever let her affections for him be not. Not that she harboured any, Ben thought cynically. She must have a low opinion of me, after how I have acted. Were anything to happen between them, he would have to pursue it. Turning over in his bed he considered it, spurred on by his mothers words. AS he drifted off to sleep Ben felt resolved. He would do what he could to have her. He would be a gentleman, he would act properly and hope that she would care for him one day. If he were lucky enough for that she might even accept his hand if he offered it to her. 

Above him Rey lay in her cot, too exhausted to dream. Lying under a stiff blanket she thought about soft sheets and large arms wrapped around holding her close. She didn’t know what it felt like to be held but she tried her best to imagine the warmth and safety of Mr Solo’s body. He was so large he would encompass her completely and hide her from the world. Then in the morning she would sleep in late and breakfast in bed, go about her day slowly only doing what she wished to with no need to work or cry over her master.

Rey easily fell asleep smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter- insidious gossip.
> 
> hope u enjoyed a lil victorian au  
> i simply am in love with the idea of ben and rey in historical costume, what can i say


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Far too many mentions of books.

For all it had not been a happy time Rey was grateful for the childhood she had experienced. Others had it far worse than her and she had been blessed with an education that many lacked. The orphanage had also been gracious enough to employ her for two years after she turned fifteen and would have allowed her to keep working there had she not found work in Mr Solo’s household.

As Rey ran her fingers along all the beautiful books and admired their titles lining the library walls she mused on her childhood. The loneliness and abuses she had endured were a price she was willing to pay to be able to read and write. She glanced up and down the room, confirming that she was entirely alone and slipped one book out, barely opening it as she read the first page. It was a volume of fairy tales that quickly swept Rey up, princesses in towers and knights fighting dragons a far cry from the bible stories she had read as child. Descriptions of fine dresses and flowing hair, true love and secret royalty absorbed her so entirely she did not hear the door open slowly or the shadow that filled the room as a figure blocked the light.

“Do you enjoy fairy tales?” 

At the sound of Mr Solo’s voice Rey quickly shut the book and spun around to face him, terrified. She had been looking through his private possessions and slacking from her work and there were sure to be punishments. Other employers would dismiss her for less. 

Ben felt his heart drop at the frightened look on Rey’s face and the way her hands turned white as she clutched the book. When he had resolved to pursue her he had not anticipated the extent to which she hid herself from others and so he had not been able to speak to her alone as he wished to. He had spent almost a fortnight seeking her out and trying to find a way to speak to her and his heart sunk at how she now seemed deathly afraid of him.

Shutting the door behind him he stepped into the room and smiled at her.

“Please do not worry. Books are meant to be read, are they not.” He reassured her, hoping to entice her into conversation.

“I'm sorry sir. I did not expect you to be here now.” Rey replied, dropping her head as she apologised.

Noticing that she still clung to her book Ben spoke again.

“Have you read The Brothers Grimm?” He asked, nodding at the book.

“I cannot say I have sir.” She said, beginning to relax somewhat. She prayed she did not trip over her tongue while speaking to him. They had never spoken like this before and she was sure her heart was going to choke her. 

Rey put the book back on the shelf and stepped away from him, still expecting a reprimand despite his kindness. To her surprise Mr. Solo stepped forward and took the book himself, flipping through the pages.

“I have not read this one for many years. You have very good taste.” Ben said and Rey flushed at his praise. In truth she had simply picked the book at random but she did not wish to offend him by disagreeing. 

The way Rey smiled slightly and ducked her head to hide her pink cheeks filled Ben with confidence. Surely, she could not find him entirely repulsive if that was how she reacted to his compliments. Seeking to prolong his conversation with her Ben shut the book, extending his arm and offering it to her with a broad smile.

“Please take it. You seemed to be enjoying it so much.”

Rey felt her eyes widen to the size of dinner plates at his offer. Her arms moved slowly as she took the book from his hand, taking care to keep her rough little hands away from his. Shaking her head she looked at the book she was now holding and met his eyes, surprised at the earnestness she saw there.

“I cannot sir. It would be too much.”

“Just to read. It serves no purpose sitting on a shelf here.” Ben said, refusing to take the book back from her. He was entirely made up on this, the book would be hers for as long as it took for her to read it and he would not let her refuse him. It was not a choice purely motivated by selflessness, Ben had to admit to himself. There had been such a tender little smile on her face while she read, one that he wanted to be responsible for in some way. 

Rey looked at the book she was holding in disbelief. No one had ever offered her something so fine nor with such earnestness. For reasons she could not understand it was clearly important to Mr Solo that she should accept his offer and Rey had no desire to disappoint him.

“Thank you, sir.” She said, her face now entirely pink and the book pressed against her chest. 

They stood in silence for a moment, staring at each other. Looking into her eyes Ben fought the urge to wrap his arms around her waist and press his lips to hers.  
As some unfamiliar expression flickered over Mr Solos face Rey stepped back from him and moved to pick her bucket up again.

“I ought to, return to my work sir.” She said and Mr Solo instantly stepped aside to let her pass, the book still in her clutches. He rubbed a hand against the back of his neck and smiled bashfully.

“Yes, yes of course. I should not detain you any longer.” Ben said, trying to not let himself admire her in an inappropriate way as she walked away from him. 

Just as she was opening the door to let herself out from the library Rey heard Mr Solo speak up again.

“Rey?” Turning back to face him she was surprised by the intensity in his eyes directed towards her.

“Yes, sir?”   
“If anyone asks about the book, tell them I gave it to you immediately. I do not wish you to be accused of something unjust.” He said, his attention focused entirely on her.

Rey nodded at his request. It had not occurred to her that others would question her ownership of something so fine and she would not have known how to defend herself to them. As she shut the library door behind her Rey felt her shoulders relax and a breathe she had not known she had been holding was released. With a broad smile across her face she abandoned her tasks and rushed to her bedroom, bucket still in hand, determined to hide her book until a time when she could read it. 

Previously she had anticipated being able to sleep at the end of a long day, but now she had something else to look forward to.

Ben slumped down against the library shelves and slid down onto the floor, holding his head in his hands. He had not expected it to be so trying, talking to her as though she was not the beginning and end of all his thoughts. 

His heart thundered in his chest as he sat down the ground and tried to recover from their conversation. He hoped desperately it would not be the last time they spoke, nor the last time she would smile at him. As Ben lifted his head up he watched the fire she had been tending to burn brightly, racking his brain for other ways he could do things for her. 

***

Retiring to her room at night and reading by candlelight swiftly became the most treasured part of Rey’s day. There was something so precious about curling underneath her blanket and escaping her world for half an hour, taken away by the fairy tales Mr Solo was so kind to let her read. She could not understand his actions but did not wish to question them too much. For all others spoke of him acting immorally about London Rey knew he was good man and that it was merely gossip that she heard.

It took her several days to make progress through the stories. She was not a fast reader and often came across words she did not understand but Rey persevered despite this, keen to finish each story and read the happy ending. She did not enjoy the ones that ended sadly so much but read them nonetheless. As she neared the end of the book Rey worried about returning it. It would be disappointing to return to her routine but she was not bold enough to seek Mr Solo out and request a second book. Their short conversation was more than she had ever hoped for from him and was more than enough to sustain her. 

It was akin to eating a large, hot meal, Rey thought as she dusted the grandfather clock in his study. Speaking to him for as long as she had done had filled her heart up and left her dreaming of him at night. She had gone hungry more than enough times before though to know not to wish for more. 

Walking past the library door Rey resolved to return the book of fairy tales the moment she finished it and that she would not even entertain the thought of reading anymore.

Ben did not know how long it would take until Rey returned to the library with the book he had lent her and he took to lurking in there throughout the day, hoping to catch her and detain her in conversation once again. He wished for them to talk about books together and that through those discussions her could draw her out, learn more of who she was. 

It was all well and good to observe her as she worked but that told him little, just enough to ensure he loved her but not enough to satiate him. 

When he saw the collection of fairy tales back in their place Ben felt his heart sink momentarily as he had clearly had missed a chance of speaking to her. Glancing across the shelves he saw no other volume had been removed and an idea sparked in his head. 

He spent most of the morning in the library, examining his books. Ben knew little of Rey’s tastes, no even whether she had enjoyed the fairy tales but he still tried to find something she would enjoy. A longer volume depicting the heroic adventures of a medieval knight was one he enjoyed and seemed similar enough to the one she had chosen for herself.

Setting the it down on a table Ben ran his hands through his hair. He wished to do more, leave her in no doubt as to his actions. Deciding a letter declaring his love for her would be too fanciful Ben settled on cutting a flower from the gardening and writing a note for her, explain that he hoped she would enjoy this story and that she should feel free to read any volume in the library that she wished to. Ben resisted the urge to call himself hers as he signed the letter and instead went in search of her room.

For all he had lived in this house since he returned from university Ben had never been into the servants quarters in the attic. All the doors were the same, white painted wood and gave him indication as to which was hers. He prayed that no one would be upstairs at this time of day and began to open doors, looking for anything that would distinguish Rey’s room from the rest. 

It became clear to him as he entered one of the last rooms that it was hers and was immediately overwhelmed with his guilt and heartbreak. The room was so bare, lacking in any of the pictures or trinkets others had. This was far worse than reading about her childhood in his records, he now stood in her room without her permission and could see all that she lacked. 

The only indicator that this was indeed her bedroom was the small gold cross the rested on her pillow. Ben saw her wear it to church on Sunday’s and when she was free to wear her own clothes. The cross mocked him as he laid his offerings at the foot of her bed, reminding him of Rey’s virtues and his own faults. She truly was the gentlest of creatures.

Ben rushed back to his study and settled in a chair by the fire, clutching a drink despite the early hour. He spent most of the afternoon brooding in his rooms alone and imaging Rey’s reaction to his gesture, concluding that if she was repulsed by his actions he would have little option but to flee the country.

***

Rey had burnt the very last of her candle the previous night as she finished the very last fairy tale. Too afraid to ask for another from another servant she resorted to changing in the dark, relying on feel to strip her dress, loosen and corset and remove her petticoat. When she sat down on her bed to strip her stockings she immediately leapt straight up again, having touched something other than her blanket. 

Fumbling Rey opened her curtains to allow her room to be lit by the moonlight and moved over, tears filling up her eyes as she picked up the flower resting there. She knew nothing of flowers beyond roses and daisies but could tell this came from the garden and smelt beautiful. It was lying on a note that in turn was lying on a book and Rey frowned at the sight. There was no one she could think of with such fine handwriting or who would leave her gifts, let alone go to the trouble of picking her a flower. 

She picked up the note and carried it over to the window, admiring how elegant her name looked written out in this way. The tears that she had been fighting started to flow the moment she read the note. Mr Solo had thought of her and wished her well. He wanted to know if she enjoyed her last book and that if she ever wanted more she was free to take them. Rey picked up the book he himself had chosen for her and read the title, intrigued by unfamiliar story. 

Instead of beginning to read it at that moment Rey instead chose to put the flower he had given her within the note and press it between the pages. She had no vase to put it in and this way she would always have it perfectly preserved. Fighting the urge to put the book underneath her pillow Rey set it beside her bed and shut her curtain, calmly getting ready for bed.

As she fell asleep however Rey couldn’t help but reach over and stroke the book, a few more happy tears running down her cheeks and her mind full of Mr Solo.

***

When Rey did not come to him to berate him for his actions Ben let himself believe that they had been accepted. He grew even more vigilant as he looked out for Rey, quickly realising that each interaction with her he had, however small, left him looking forward to the next. 

Ben was drinking far more tea than he ever had before, constantly ringing for it in the hope that Rey would bring it and they would be alone. To his disappointment it was always some other maid who he could not name that came to his rooms and Rey was always accompanied by some other servant when he passed her. 

Her behaviour around others both reassured and worried him. He was immensely happy to find that she did not appear to have any kind of sweetheart or admirer that would be far worthier of her than he was but she also seemed incredibly isolated. There was no one she seemed to share a joke with or that paid close attention to her. The idea of Rey suffering from loneliness when he was so nearby often attacked his heart and brought his spirits down. Were he only able to speak to her again he would be one step closer to making his love for her known to her and, god willing, never being parted from her again. 

It was the movement in an upstairs window that informed Ben of Rey’s whereabouts. She would be alone as she cleaned the windows and he could hardly contain himself as he leapt down from his horse ad rushed into the house, pausing only to remove his coat and make sure he looked his very best in the hallway mirror.   
The bedroom door was shut behind her and Ben cursed the squeak of the hinges as he opened it, not shutting it behind him as he stepped into a room he had no real business of being in, beyond seeing her. 

Rey was disappointed at how fast Mr Solo had entered the house. She had only been able to catch a glimpse of him as he entered the courtyard, looking ever so much like a returning knight or conquering hero as he sat on his horse. Although she knew nothing of such things Rey was convinced he must be a fine rider to look so at ease on such a massive, fearsome looking beast.

The sound of the door opening took her attention away from the horse’s glossy mane and she turned around, expecting to see Mr. Hux or some other servant only to be greeted by Mr Solo himself.

“Mr Solo.” She said as a greeting and dropped into a brief curtesy as she had been taught. “I’m sorry, I did not expect anyone to need this room.” 

Quickly Rey began to gather her cleaning things and leave the room. She was confident in Mr Solo’s kindness to not be afraid of getting into trouble but she was unsure of how to face him, her mind half on the flower, now carefully pressed and lying under her pillow alongside his note. 

Ben was horrified by Rey trying to leave and stepped forward into the room until there was only a foot or two between them. 

“Please, do not leave on my account,” he said, trying to coax her into staying, “I merely wished to speak to you.”

“Speak to me?” Rey repeated, hating how foolish she sounded.

“Yes. I wanted to ask if you had received my gifts. If you had enjoyed them.” Ben felt himself blush at the memory of being in her bedroom and was grateful that he kept his hair long as it would hid the redness of his ears.

To his delight Rey herself blushed at his words and ducked her head shyly, her cheeks turning the most beautiful rosy shade. It made Ben bolder, seeing how sweet she was.

“I did sir. Thank you, for them.” Rey floundered for a moment, unsure of whether she ought to confess just how happy they had made her. She had no chance to though as Mr Solo kept talking, seeming far more flustered than he ever had before.

“I’m so very glad to hear that. And please do take more if you wish.” He wished to impress upon her just how much he wanted her to have access to his books, to have things that brought her joy.

“Oh, I could not sir.” Rey said and tried to step back from him, wringing her hands slightly.

Ben felt his heart break ever so slightly at these words and stepped forward, unwilling to let her step out from his space, not when he had finally caught her.

“Why ever not? I would not allow you to get in trouble for it.” He vowed.

“You would not?” Rey asked as she lowered her hands. She disbelieved his words but felt greatly affected by the passion.

“I would not let anyone cause you grief.” Ben replied and reached out his fingers grazing over hers for a moment.

Rey pulled back her hand as though she had burnt it and turned away from him. Her face was burning and her mind was muddled as she gathered her cleaning supplies and fled the room, determined not to look back at Mr Solo, half running through the house until she was safe in a corner of the scullery. There she emptied her bucket and pressed her face against the cold brick wall. 

He had looked at her with such gentleness, he had promised to defend her, he had even tried to hold her hand. Unaware of the ways of the world as she was Rey knew this was not the regular way masters conducted themselves towards their maids but she understood it nevertheless. A small, hopeful feeling began to unfurl in her chest as she wondered at the whole situation. For so long she had thought he did not even know her name and now he was behaving in this manner towards her.

Her mind was reeling and her heart racing as crippling fear and overwhelming elation battled within her. No one had ever shown such care towards her and now the man she loved was looking at her with affection in his eyes. Yet Rey was also terrified. She had no idea of the motivation behind his actions and could not understand why he was acting like this. His reputation with women was well known to her but she could not believe there was anything sinful or underhand in his actions. For reasons unknown to her he would defend her to others and give her books. 

Attempting to go about her day as though nothing had happened proved near impossible but Rey was determined to try. She had no wish to talk to others or be reprimanded, wanting to be left to her daydreams and her attempts not to let her hopes rise any higher.

Were Ben a more dramatic man he would’ve thrown himself from the rooftop at Rey’s rejection of him. It had clearly been too much when he attempted to hold her hand and now he was convinced she would want nothing to do with him. 

In truth he had not been thinking when he had reached out for her, his mind had been too addled by her presence and her acceptance of his attentions up until that moment. Now he had made her uncomfortable and would not have been surprised if she reverted to her previous, professional manner.

As he lay in his bed, drink in hand and clothes strewn around his room he knew he only had himself to blame for ruining would could have been between them. She would surely think he had been propositioning her, that his actions were motivated by lust not love and that he wanted her to be another notch in his belt. Ben could not deny that he certainly lusted for her but that was not his only motivator. He would never have her body if she was not his wife first and would rather die than bring shame onto her.

When the sun began to rise behind his curtains telling Ben he had not slept at all he began to reconsider his position regarding the rooftop. It was no longer seeming so ridiculous to go up there after all.

***

Rey saw them before she heard them, two figures whispering just around the corner from her, sharing gossip and laughing at others. 

She stood out of there view, fretting over what to do. She had no desire to eavesdrop on their conversation but did not wish to walk past them either, not when she was meant to be working downstairs and was only in that hallway to exchange her book for another. Her heart had sunk at finding the library empty but quick rose again as she considered what to read. At first it had been difficult to cross paths with Mr Solo after fleeing from him so rudely but had eventually found it manageable as long as she merely smiled at him and refused to allow herself to be detained in conversation. Conversation would only lead to her wishing for things beyond her reach. 

Her mind wandered from her current predicament to remembering how warm Mr Solo’s skin had been and she remained stuck in her position, hiding from these whisperer’s whose conversation grew in volume. Despite her best efforts she was unable to avoid hearing their words.  
“I don’t believe it. You are teasing me, surely.” 

“Not a word of it is a lie. Phasma saw them herself, standing in a bedroom and talking ever so close together, holding hands at one point.”

The whispered words were like barbs to Rey’s heart as she quickly understood who they were discussing.

“She’s so plain and dull, I would never have expected it from her.” One voice said and the insult struck Rey, more painful as it only echoed her own opinion of herself.

“It’s always the quiet ones. Sneaking around and seducing the master, probably hoping to become mistress herself!” The speakers gleeful statement caused Rey to choke down a sob.

“He would never do that, not for any woman let alone one like her. He enjoys drinking and gambling and breaking hearts far too much to allow himself to be caught.”

Hearing Mr Solo slandered was far more than Rey could bare. She turned and ran from the scene, forgetting all about the work she had to do and shut herself in her bedroom. The book fell from her hands and she sat on her bed and clutched her face in her hands.

Awful sobs wracked her body as she thought of everything she had heard. She had tried so hard, worked so hard to be good and to go unnoticed and now she was the topic of such insidious gossip. The idea of Mr Solo hearing such things only made her sob harder. He would most definitely cease to speak to her now, he would probably even think that she wished to seduce him and marry his money.

Rey lay down and pressed her face into her pillow, trying to imagine how Mr Solo would look at her now. After she had fled from him every time she came across him he had looked drawn and pale only for his face to light up when she smiled at him. All that would be gone now and it would be her fault for acting so improperly.   
She could not even bring herself to read that night, simply crying until she exhausted herself and fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter- ill met by moonlight
> 
> this thing has wild pacing ladies and gents and goes from 0 to 100 real fast  
> i hope thats ok   
> for time period think mid-1800s and accept every historical inaccuracy


End file.
